PROPER PROPS

A theatrical property, commonly referred to as a prop, is an object used on stage by actors. Smaller props are referred to as "hand props". Larger props may also be set decoration, such as a chair or table. The difference between a set decoration and a prop is use. If the item is not touched by a performer for any reason it is simply a set decoration. If it is touched by the actor in accordance with script requirements, or as deemed by the director, it is a prop.

In pantomime hand props should, wherever possible, be big, bold, bright, colourful, and very visual. But then of course, you all know that, don’t you? Apparently not!

In my version of ‘Robinson Crusoe’ there is a scene where the Dame, her son, Billy, and Mayor Perkins, are trying to build a boat to escape from the desert island on which they have been shipwrecked.

It involves them putting ‘glue’ on a ‘plank’, and includes comedy business with the plank being swung around etc, and the ‘glue’, which I recommend is ‘custard pie’ foam, either hand-mixed or from a spray can, being slapped on people with a brush. Water could be funny, but it is not as visual as foam, unless a large quantity is sloshed around, which then presents the problem of having to clean up quite a mess.

I went along to see the initial production and lo and behold, the supposedly experienced company didn’t know that in pantomime, hand props should, wherever possible be big, bold, bright, colourful, and very visual.

The ‘plank’ was obviously a spare bit of wood from someone’s workshop, about 4 ins. (10 cms.) wide by some 5 ft. (150 cms.) long. The bucket containing the ‘glue’ was what you might call pint size. Some kind person had obviously given them an empty, 1kg. plastic tub, that at one time probably contained DIY adhesive. The brush was 3ins (7.5 cms.). wide.

The plank should have been at least 10 feet (300 cms.) long, and 9 inches (23 cms.) wide. It could have be made from a thin frame covered in painted hardboard or paper, so that it was easy to carry and manoeuvrable, but didn’t deliver too much of a punch when it hit people.

I’ll never understand metric, if I live to be a gross!

The bucket should be a full-size one, with the words ‘STICKY STUFF’ painted on it in large letters. The brush should be a large paste brush.

It goes without saying… so why do people need to be told?

peacheykeene.com have some fun clown props.

CLASS ACT # 7

Are these guys funny, or are they funny?

You can bet your sweet tooth that they have rehearsed this routine.

BEST OF THE WEST!

After burning the midnight oil at both ends for the past few weeks, I have finally finished a new script…

(CUE FANFARE)

… ‘Yankee Doodle – A Wild West Panto’.

Yup, yup… reckon Ah have!

Set in and around the town of Knees Bend, it features so-so songstress Lola La Goon, who winds up way out West when she is suddenly stranded deep in the heart of Texas.

However, she has a treasure map showing the location of the Lost Marbles Goldmine, and that could land her in the lap of luxury. You can bet a bucket of bullfrogs that the no good, ornery skunk Snide Winder, will be on hand to hinder, when schoolmarm Miss Mercy Mee, singing cowboy, Sol Farr, and unsung hero, Donny Doodle, help Lola go for gold.

It’s a rootin’-tootin’, shootin’, high-falutin’, scootin’, hootin’… well… that gives you a rough idea!

Full details of the cast and how to obtain a reading copy are available on my website…

http://www.gwizzpromotions.co.uk/

Yi-hah!

THE WHOLE DAME THING

In the ‘Production Notes’ I include with my pantomime scripts, I offer a brief description of the characters. For every Dame, this is exactly the same… ‘The traditional Dame, best played by a man, who should not attempt to play the part of a real woman. Dames are not 'drag' parts. She carries the large part of the comedy. A sprightly, forceful character, who drives the whole show. Physicality is all-important. Body language and facial expressions should be big and bold. Requires the ability to put over a song.’

That’s it in a nutshell, whether it be Widow Twankee, Sarah The Cook, or Mother Goose. The rest is in the script for the actor to discover for himself… providing he is prepared to do that.

Here’s a quote from ‘Plays And Players’ December 1977, about the approach to playing Dame adopted by Stanley Baxter, who was a great favourite on the Scottish pantomime circuit, until his retirement in 1991. “In the evolution of a performance… (he) doesn’t think about where he’ll get laughs until a very late stage. The early work is concentrated on those dramatic high points that he regards as keys to his character’s development.”  The man is obviously a professional.

I don’t like Dames who are trying to be a solo act. They must be a character in the show, and not a show-off. The actor should never forget that he is playing a role, and as such is only one piece in the jigsaw.

Chris Harris, quoted on the BBC website, "When I come to do the panto dame I think what I try to do is try and bring an actor to work rather than a drag act."

There appears to be a trend these days towards Dames being far removed from reality. Costumes are of a kind that only a pantomime Dame would wear, and make up is becoming bizarre. There is a ‘tutorial’ on YouTube where the end product looks just like someone with their face painted.

Arthur Askey, who played Dame at the London Palladium in the 1960s made up with “ordinary pancake slap”, as he would have done for any appearance on stage. He wore a basic wig, and a basic costume, but the guy was funny, despite, or maybe because of, the lack of artificial aids.

Les Dawson, who was inspired by another Palladium Dame, the great Norman Evans, simply painted his nose red and wore a pair of wire-rimmed spectacles. Chris Harris also uses a fairly basic make up.

For me, the greatest ‘Dame’ of them all was Arthur Lucan, alias Old Mother Riley, who played the Palladium and the Royal Command Performance, as the Irish washerwoman character, without exotic make up, crazy costumes, or false boobs. I did say I liked physical comedians and comediennes, didn’t I?

Chris Harris again… "Arthur Lucan played this woman called Old Mother Riley who had a daughter Kitty, he's the nearest to what I always thought panto dames should be, a totally believable character, always wringing his arms, she was always busy and ran a laundry like Widow Twankey does.”

A guy I knew played Dame in local pantomimes, and for him, the costumes were the most important part of his performance. He would write in his script, ‘Costume Number 1’, up to ‘Costume Number 8’, or even higher, at the points where he made an entrance in a different ‘dress’.

Anyone can wear outrageous costumes, but not everyone can be funny on stage, regardless of what they are wearing. Funny is more important than frippery. All right, let’s say you make an entrance in an outrageous costume, that has taken someone quite a long time to make, and has cost a pretty penny. When the audience first clocks it, they laugh… once! Is all that effort really worth one whoop?

A bit of comedy business or a comedy prop on the entrance might have exactly the same result. Try thinking, “How could I get a laugh without going to all the trouble of having a special costume made?”

Funny costumes are acceptable, providing they have some relevance to the character, the plot, and they are an exaggeration of something that might possibly be worn. It does puzzle me, why anyone would want to come on stage dressed as a snooker table, or a Christmas tree, complete with lights.

I once went to see another friend in a professional pantomime, and the Dame was played by a young man around 30 years of age. Every entrance apparently necessitated a change of costume, and wig! The costumes were almost haute couture, and the wigs were certainly haute coiffure. He was in fact a drag act, and he simply stood in one spot and delivered his lines. He didn’t do physical comedy! Ergo, he wasn’t a pantomime dame.

From the Scottish Music Hall Society site… “When I complimented the late Rikki Fulton (Francie and Josie/ Rev. I. M. Jolly) on his excellent female nurse and nanny characters, he pointed out that the secret of making this sort of role funny was to ensure that it was always larger than life. Said Rikki,”I always tried to create a particularly masculine type of Dame. The children knew it was a man in skirts and laughed even louder because of it! Had I tried to exactly replicate a vampy woman in the Danny La Rue style, it wouldn’t have worked in Panto” Some people suggest that the most famous Dame in pantomime history was likely Arthur Lucan who made a lifetime career out of portraying the dirty, bedraggled, Irish washer woman known to millions of 1950’s movie fans as Old Mother Riley. Nobody could possibly mistake the 'typical Irish' washer wifie for a 'real' lady. It was as if Arthur Lucan took the Widow Twankee in Christmas Panto and turned it into a lifelong year round career!”

Last word to the late John Inman… “The dame is much more than just a drag act. It's a walk and a wig and a frock and an attitude; you have to get your head round those, and the character unfolds.”

SOMETHING APPALLING…

Award-winning composer-lyricist, Stephen Sondheim, recently criticised a re-worked stage version of "Porgy and Bess," the opera by George and Ira Gershwin and DuBose Heyward, which is heading for Broadway this winter.

His complaint has echoes of my blog about messing with the classics.

Changing this, rewriting that, distorting t’other!

He sums up the saga by saying, "If (the Director) doesn’t understand Bess and feels she has to 'excavate' the show, she clearly thinks it's a ruin, so why is she doing it?"

Mr. Sondheim's resume includes ‘A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum’, ‘Follies’, ‘A Little Night Music’, "Sweeney Todd’, ‘Sunday in the Park with George’, "Into the Woods’, ‘West Side Story’, and ‘Gypsy’.

Even though one might be near the bottom of the pile, it’s encouraging to be on the same wavelength as someone with his pedigree.

KNOCKABOUT TURN

Today, I came across the following in an article entitled “How To Make Children Laugh”, written in 1955, by Paul Terry, American cartoonist, screenwriter, film producer, director, and founder of Terrytoons (‘Mighty Mouse, ‘Heckle and Jeckle’ etc.)

American spelling applies.

In “creating” humorous situations of course, we are inventing nothing. We are restating some of the tried-and-tested gags and situations, weaving them into new story lines.

Basically, humor never changes, nor do tastes in humor. The same situations which made children and adults laugh 2000 years ago cause them to laugh today, when done up in modern dress.

Check through your memory and you will discover that by far successful comedians have been “sight” comedians, as compared to comedians who appeal to the mind. That is why the popularity of animated cartoons will live on and on: the humor in them is visual and therefore, universal.

Didn’t I say I like physical comedians… and comediennes?

In playing pantomime, one must be very aware of the physicality… facial expressions, how one stands, moves, reacts, etc. This not only helps to create a character, it helps to make the character funny. In essence, play it big, play it out front… and only perambulate purposely.

SO FOLLOW ME, FOLLOW...

I notice from some banners on the side of buses that a new Smurfs film has just hit the cinema screens.

Did you know that ‘The Smurfs’ in French is, ‘Les Schtroumpfs’? You learn something new every day… if you’re not careful!

A couple of years or so ago, I wrote a script for ‘Goldilocks And The Three Bears', which I set in Russia. The three bears are kidnapped by the villain, Sergei Sardine, and the goodies set off to try and rescue them. The second act opens on the fringe of the far-flung forest, where we meet a bunch of Russian serfs, who sing ‘Dippety Day’… the Smurfs song. Serfs… Smurfs… gerritt?

This follows on my writing ‘Red Riding Hood’, where Holly Hood goes to visit her granny in the village of Dillydally, and she is warned about a werewolf in the woods. Earlier this year, Warner Brothers released a motion picture set in a medieval village that is haunted by a werewolf.

I am not suggesting any kind of plagiarism you understand. I didn’t know about their version, and I’m sure they didn’t know about my version, but I did beat them to the punch, by quite a margin.

And there’s more…

When I wrote ‘Hickory Dickory Dock’, I decided that the story would major on the theme of time… the mouse ran up the clock, remember? I decided to introduce a time traveller, Dr. Watt… to avoid infringing copyright, you see. He (or she) travels in a jukebox, rather than a police box and… well, I did wonder if the kiddiwinks would ever have heard of Doctor Who. Lo and behold, just after I added the script to my catalogue, the BBC revived the show. Thanks, Auntie!

I included the Lone Ranger and Tonto in my version of ‘Goldilocks And The Three Bears’ – to find out how and why, you will have to read the script.

An amateur drama group who decided they wanted to do the script, were concerned that some of the younger generation may not have heard of this famous Western hero, and would be asking the question, “Who was that masked man?” So, I added a little bit of explanation.

Shortly after, I discovered that a new big-screen adaptation of the story had been announced, and so once againg, G. Wizz would be bang up-to-date.

However, “after years of being stuck in development hell”, the project has apparently been put on hold, over problems with reducing the movie's estimated $250m (£154m) cost.

That’s a lot of lolly for a Western. I can only presume that they must be using real silver bullets!

Where G. Wizz leads, others follow!

CLASS ACT #6                                              

Never heard of Wally Boag?

Well, he was born in Portland, Oregon, in 1920, and honoured in 1995 as a "Disney Legend" for his long tenure performing in Disneyland’s ‘The Golden Horseshoe Revue’.

He appeared in the first performance on Sunday, July 17, 1955, which was featured live on ABC-TV, and watched by over 90 million television viewers.

Alongside the can-can dancers, he was the comic star of the daily shows. By the time he retired, in 1982, from his roles as the outrageous Pecos Bill, and the Travelling Salesman, Wally had performed in nearly 40,000 productions of the popular Revue!

Wally Boag appeared in such Disney films as ‘The Absent Minded Professor’, ‘Son Of Flubber’, and ‘The Love Bug’, and was the guest star in episode 520 of the ‘Muppet Show’.

While appearing at the London Hippodrome in 1947, he brought the 12-year-old Julie Andrews on stage to help with his balloon act, and she astonished the audience with her singing. It was her professional solo debut.

He died in June this year, aged 90.

At his home, hung on his wall, he had a framed letter from Walt Disney. It included the following... "I can't remember how many times I've seen the show, but I always find it stimulating to be there and watch the response of the audience... and although I practically know the routines by heart, it's always new and exciting."

In this clip, he looks to be enjoying himself... and so are the audience!

Of course, the Drabbies wouldn’t allow all that simulated violence these days. Isn’t that a good-looking set that the stuntmen smash up? It was the work of Harper Goff, who designed the saloon set for the film, "Calamity Jane", starring Doris Day.

The barman is banjo-playing, baggy-pants comedian, Gene Sheldon… another class act.

Love the dummy gag!

LEAVE WELL ALONE

The title of a previous blog… BEGIN AT THE BEGINNING… “, is a quote from ‘Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland’ – “Begin at the beginning,” the King said gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”

Occasionally, I am asked if I have a script for a pantomime version of ‘Alice in Wonderland’. The answer is in the negative… and it always will be! I tend to concur with the author, Sir Walter Besant, who at the end of the 19^th century expressed an opinion that “Alice in Wonderland… was a book of that extremely rare kind which will belong to all the generations to come until the language becomes obsolete". For me, it is sacrosanct. Anyone tampering with it should be hung by the arms in the yard!

Recently, whilst searching YouTube, I accidently happened upon an arty-smarty Broadway stage presentation "based" on Lewis Carroll’s classic. The clip is introduced by the female choreographer who speaks with that whiny nasal delivery, which appears to be de rigueur for dame Yankees these days. She informs us… “I’d like to… you know… work in commercials, TV, films, Broadway, and… errr… you know… my next dream is to direct Broadway shows.”

Thank you! Don’t ring us… and we won’t ring you!

There follows some so-called musical numbers that were obviously devised by a load of luvvies, all of whom had both feet firmly planted in the air.

I haven’t seen the show, but according to one reviewer “…the fanciful figures of the Carroll books are transformed into groovy, multiethnic contemporary equivalents.” Oh dear!

From the brief clips, my impression was that this offering was grandiose guano.

Here’s the good news… the “multi-million dollar musical” closed after having played only 31 previews and 33 regular performances.

Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus!

I haven’t seen the 2010, Walt Disney Pictures, Roth Films Production, Team Todd Production, Zanuck Company Production, of ‘Alice In Wonderland’ either. However, looking at the images, I can’t see how I can possibly take seriously, a Mad Hatter, played by Johnny Depp, looking as if he has just had his face painted at the local village Summer Fair.

The proverb, “A pretty face and fine clothes do not make character.” would seem appropriate here.

To quote one ‘user review’, “Everything that makes Lewis Carroll Lewis Carroll has been leached out of this movie.”

If anyone wants to see how to make films, using the medium as it should be used, and without having to resort to computer-generated imagery, see CLASS ACT #5 below.

Two other classics I would never consider converting to pantomimes are ‘Peter Pan’, and ‘Treasure Island’.

CLASS ACT #5

‘Lemonade Joe’ (complete name in Czech ‘Limonádový Joe aneb Koňská opera’), is a Czechoslovak film from 1964, directed by Oldřich Lipský and written by Jiří Brdečka, based on his own novel and theatre play.

Squeaky-clean Joe is a straight-shootin’ gunfighter who drinks only lemonade, and takes on a town full of whisky-swigging hombres.

It satirises the American Western genre, parodies the old silent westerns, and pays homage to animated cartoons, with colour tinting, and speeded-up fight scenes.

Made under the communist regime in Czechoslovakia, I would guess it cost considerably less than the average Hollywood film of the time.

‘Lemonade Joe’ became a cult classic in Czechoslovakia, and apparently Henry Fonda was amongst its foreign admirers. Henry Fonda and me!

There is some relevance to the subject of pantomimes, not only with the characterisations, the slapstick, the musical numbers, the costumes, and the set designs, but the fact that G. Wizz has a Wild West panto almost complete. Watch this space!

BEGIN AT THE BEGINNING…

In a previous blog, I expressed my concern that these days, many amateur drama and operatic groups appear to be frantically following fads.

Recently, I received an e-mail message from someone planning to direct a pantomime, informing me of his choice of a particular musical number, with which he planned to end the show. I had never heard of the ‘song’, or the singer, so I did a Google search. This brought up a vainglorious video, which must have cost more than the GDP of a medium-sized, European country.

The flick lasts 234 seconds, and the average length of shot was no more than 2 seconds long. Subtract the special effects, the sound enhancement, and the hundreds of extras leaping about, and you are left with a trite, tuneless, con trick. As far as I was concerned, it was a load of phonus bolonus! Opium for the masses!

How on earth could an amateur group putting on a show in a village hall hope to come close to this presentation?

More importantly, why would they want to?

“But it’s popular!” would probably be the justification.

“Popularity is the one insult I have never suffered.” Oscar Wilde

Apart from the fact that this offering had little to offer, I would advocate cutting one’s coat according to one’s cloth. Surely, rather than trying to match this technological tarradiddle, why not go for a lively, bouncy number packed with pep… one that the chorus, dancers, children and principals can join in and enjoy.

For example, for my version of ‘Hickory Dickory Dock’, I suggest finishing with ‘Rock Around The Clock’, which even has some relevance to the story. There is the possibility of bringing on some teddy boys and girls to bop, and ‘musicians’ with inflatable saxophones and guitars. It’s an easy number to learn, the choreography could be quite simple. Add a mirror ball or searchlight effect, get the audience clapping along, and the joint really would be rocking.

I once saw an amateur pantomime which included the character Little Bo Peep, who had three sheep. They came on for the finale and started off the musical number with, “Baa, baa, baa…”, leading into the Beach Boys’ ‘Barbara Ann’, with the rock ‘n’ roll element described above. Quite frankly, what had gone before wasn’t up to much, but the show did end with a bang.

Any road up, I was looking through a Sesame Street website the other day, and I came across reference to one episode, where Bob McGrath, who played the part of the character ‘Bob’ on the show, sang ‘Good Morning Starshine’, with some hippy Muppets.

The song is from the rock musical ‘Hair’, which dates from 1967. I saw the show on tour, maybe around 1970.

This started the creative juices flowing. For me, most modern music is unmemorable, but here is something that I reckon has stood the test of time – news yesterday that the musical production of 'Mary Poppins' (film -1964) dominated this year's Helpmann Awards in Australia, winning eight of the 12 categories in which it was nominated, including best musical – so I played some versions of it, posted on YouTube.

Normally, I like a pantomime to have a lively opening, to maybe convince the audience that it’s the start of a good show. However, just as a variation, for those who might want something that bit different, I thought that ‘Good Morning Starshine’ could work… providing of course that it’s done well.

So, here goes… yes, I know I have switched from an ending to an opening, but one has to begin somewhere. Here’s my idea… feel free to use it if you wish.

The houselights go down, the curtains are closed, and a golden glow, sunrise lighting effect is brought up slowly. A dawn chorus sound effect is played over the PA, and this fades as the curtains open to reveal the village setting, and the lights come up slowly to full.

The lead singer enters…

(http://youtu.be/Kl8O7NHkrPY – for the la-la opening and the attack. There is also a hint of an instrumental section, if you want to include dancers.)

…and is then joined by chorus and dancers, who wander on singing from all entrances to the stage. Opportunities for some nice grouping.

(http://youtu.be/-SzuZBotgCU - from 59 seconds into the video. Just one verse, one chorus, and then the finish, which could actually be bigger than it is here.)

Slow start, leisurely build up, then lots of pizzazz to the big finish. End the musical number with a tableau, then lots of animation, and sotto voce adlibs from the assembled throng, as you go into the opening dialogue… quickly followed by a crash, bang, wallop entrance, with sound effects and drum cues. 

(http://youtu.be/gkav2kjB0qc youtu.be/gkav2kjB0qc – for the ‘chorus’ involvement.)

Don’t make the tempo too slow.

I reckon it could be a knockout.

CLASS ACT #4

Actress Carmen D'Antonio performs an hilarious operatic spoof in the classic Vaudevillian style from the MGM movie, "Broadway Melody of 1940", which starred Fred Astaire and Eleanor Powell. She was born in Philadelphia in 1911. Had she been born on this side of the Atlantic, she would probably have had a very successful career in pantomime.

Notice how she doesn't try too hard to be funny. She gives the impression that she has confidence in her abilitiy and the material.

"Never stress or over-emphasize a point – let the gag do its own work." Billy Bennett (1887-1942)

Miss D’Antonio reminds me of Betty Jumel (1901-1990), who was billed as “A Bundle of Fun”. She appeared with Norman Evans in the 1944 Leeds Theatre Royal production of Humpty Dumpty, which set a record with its 22-week run from Christmas Eve to Whitsun. She also became one of the few successful female Dames, notably in 1948 as Dame Trot in Babes in the Wood at London’s Princes Theatre, and later starred alongside Terry-Thomas at the Palladium in Humpty Dumpty.

I like physical comedians… and comediennes!