A HAPPY

NEW YEAR

TO ALL OUR

READER!

REHEARSING

Rock climbing is an activity that most of us, I suspect, would rather watch from the safety of terra firma, and yet a significant number of people include it in their list of hobbies. They would say that they enjoyed it, found it exhilarating, and probably even describe it as ‘good fun’, even though it’s very unlikely that they are actually convulsed with laughter whilst clinging precariously to a sheer rock face, some distance off the ground. Like any other sport, dangerous or otherwise, it requires a serious approach, and great discipline. Before they start a climb, the climber must check his or her equipment carefully and thoroughly, and whilst climbing, they must concentrate one hundred percent. Failure to follow these procedures and disciplines could prove fatal.

All together now…follow the bouncing ball… “They scraped him off the rocks like a lump of strawberry jam… "

Whilst acting is considerably less dangerous than rock climbing, although we do speak of comedians ‘dying’ on stage, the same principals apply to both activities… prepare thoroughly, and adopt a disciplined approach.

Rehearsals should be ‘fun’, but this enjoyment should come from the satisfaction of overcoming the challenge, and not from fooling around. Rehearsals should be productive, with a level of efficiency as high as possible… certainly no lower than 90%.

All this rehearsal business may seem irksome, but any actor who works hard to ensure they play a role to the best of their ability, is their own best friend. The other actors and the audience will like them as well. Enough practice helps actors get used to the words, put the whole part in focus, and get rid of first-night nerves, which are mainly caused by the uncertainty of doing the unfamiliar. The more familiar one is with an assignment the less fear, therefore, the more rehearsal the more success, and the greater peace of mind.

“It’ll be all right on the night!” certainly won’t apply if the actor is unprepared and under-rehearsed. It’s much easier, and much more enjoyable for an actor and the audience, when he or she knows exactly what they’re doing.

Successful theatre people tend to have a strong sense of discipline, not only during performances, but also during the rehearsal process. They follow a set of ‘rules’, which were not voted into existence, but are the result of years of experience of finding out what was needed and what had to be done about it. Some of these rules are so obvious it may seem foolish to mention them, and yet too often they must be reiterated forcefully. Whilst they may have no direct bearing on the show, following them is essential to the maximum realisation of it.

Punctuality is of vital importance. The old aphorism is, “If you aren’t at least ten minutes early you are ten minutes late”. Often, no work can begin when members of the cast are absent. Those who are not present are absent until they are present. If they arrive late, they have delayed work for everybody.  If twenty rehearsals, each of two and a half hours duration, are required to prepare a show for opening night, just fifteen minutes lost at each rehearsal adds up to a total of five hours… the equivalent of two rehearsals. How often have we thought during the dress rehearsal that the show would benefit greatly from another couple of rehearsals?

The director needs for his own concentration no distraction at rehearsals, therefore quiet, intelligent attentiveness is required from all those present. A performer, who listens to everything being said, will stand a better chance of carrying out the instructions being given. If the performer fails to listen intelligently, the implication is that he or she was inattentive.

Rehearsing is not designed to help actors learn their lines. They should undertake this tedious, though necessary task at home. If the concentration is intense, and the person self-disciplined, the accomplishment will be swifter, easier, and more lasting.

Performers should be made aware that they are part of a vast whole. They should all listen, watch, and be alert and quiet. Observing these small but important regulations will make a great combination to the success of the show.

I have gone on stage to tackle the leading role in a professional production of Molière’s ‘School For Wives’, with just four days rehearsal!

“Success in our business is only provisional, and it has to be worked at. We were good rehearsers and hard workers who were determined to persevere.” (Ernie Wise)

WRITES AND WRONGS

From the website of an amateur theatre company…

“This year's offering is loosely based on (TITLE OF PANTOMIME) with the usual (NAME OF AMATEUR COMPANY) modifications.” 

You know who you are!

This title is a distinctive one, which as far as I know, is only available from Samuel French Ltd.

From Samuel French’s FAQs page…

“Can changes be made to scripts when they are being performed?
No changes of any kind may be made without the permission of the author and this is a condition of our licence. This includes changing the sex of characters and cutting out "bad" language. Some authors may agree to changes if a persuasive case is put in support of the request, but this is by no means always so.“

“with the usual modifications” indeed! It would appear that they are serial offenders.

Whadya say we all go round and re-arrange their furniture?

PRICING

What’s the highest ticket price you have come across for an amateur show? There is one coming up at a venue within about six miles of where I live, with a top price of £13.00!

I went to see their show a couple of years ago… someone bought me a ticket… and it wasn’t up to much.

ANIMAL CRACKERS

For the important animal roles in my pantomimes, such as Thomas the cat in ‘Dick Whittington’, the three bears, and Puss in the up-and-coming ‘Puss In Boots’ (watch this space!) etc., I always recommend face painting, rather than a full mask. Having the actor’s face visible helps with expressions, and allows him or her to create a character, even thought they may have no dialogue as such.

I suspect that when amateur societies present the musical ‘Cats’, they will use face paints, as per the original production. If it’s good enough for Andrew Lloyds Bank… !

A website devoted to musicals claims, when referring to 'Cats' ... it's the costume/ makeup and dynamic production concepts that hold everything together and make the show work.”

However, I recently happened upon some pictures of an amateur production of ‘Dick Whittington’ that featured the King Rat character dressed all in black, wearing a strange, pointed, full-head contrivance that made him look like a cross between a weird Womble, and someone about to dabble in the dark arts. The ‘cat’, which was sporting a macabre mask looked, if anything, even more sinister, and would have fitted in very well at the Hellfire Club, I reckon.

What are people thinking of when they use such ghastly get-ups? Don’t they know that pantomimes are supposed to be light and frothy and fun?

Personally, I would err on the side of making animal costumes as simple as possible, but then that might take a bit of creative thinking. My old art teacher once said that it’s not what you put into a picture, but what you leave out!

A company who presented my version of ‘Mother Goose’ asked me if I had any contacts for a good goose costume. Unfortunately I hadn’t, but I did a Google search to see if I could find some societies who had recently presented the show, and therefore might have one going cheap… or quack! Gerrit?

What a curious collection I came across… from the reblime to the subdiculous! Some were seriously scary! I suggested to the group that if they couldn’t find a sensible, suitable costume, keep it simple… and attractive. There might be a problem producing the golden eggs, but that shouldn’t be insurmountable… should it?

Let’s face it, however crafty and creative the costume, everyone knows that it’s not a real giant goose… don’t they?

A PLUG

My friends at Fabworks Mill Shop in Dewsbury have an amazing range of textiles and associated stuff that is ideal for theatrical use.

Their usual Opening hours are: Monday – Friday, 9am to 4pm.

You can contact them via e-mail at – sales@fabworks.co.uk

Tel: 01924 466031 Fax 01924 466029

Their website is – fabworks.co.uk

They are very friendly. Tell them G. Wizz sent ya!

ANOTHER GOOD IDEA, SON!

I came across this inflatable alien head and hands set recently, and though I haven’t tried it out, I reckon that it could possibly look impressive if it was combined with a morph suit. Providing you have an alien in your pantomime of course!

They are marketed by Air Hedz. Their range of giant inflatable headwear includes “wigs”, and hats.

Morph suits are available from morphsuits.co.uk, and a range of fancy dress suppliers.

THE WRITE STUFF

A current popular American television series, which I must confess I have never watched, apparently has 16 writers named, with the addition… “among others”!

In the words of Elmer Fudd, “That’s unbeweivable!”

16 or more people in my office, all at the same time! Boy, would we have to know each other very well!

When I see the closing credits of films crawl up the screen, with scores of people listed… one example has 10 Location Manager, 6 Location Accountants, 10 Additional Assistant Directors, a Special Effects Crew of 18, and 15 Modellers... not forgetting the Gaffer, Best Boy, Dolly Grip, Dialect Coach, Wrangler and whatever… I reckon I could make a film with my eyes folded!

Let them have a go at weekly rep, where for a summer season, there were around ten of us to do everything… acting, directing, set design, construction and painting, props, costumes, publicity, the accounts… and we had just a week from opening the script to opening night. That don’t half concentrate the mind!

IN TENNIS, LOVE MEANS NOTHING!

Over the last couple of days, I have been chasing up payments for reading copies of my scripts, sent out to amateur societies. Despite my informing all of them twice, in writing, of the conditions under which I send out reading copies, a large percentage either don’t read the information, or they simply ignore it. Maybe they think it’s clever to avoid paying by being dishonest. Expletive deleted!

In the process, I came across a Local Drama Association’s review of an amateur production of ‘Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs’. The report had been written by two of the Association’s representatives who presumably, had attended the show… and here’s me thinking it was only the BBC using two people to do a job that could be done by one!

The reviewers were obviously enamoured with what they saw. Here are some (genuine) quotes, extracted from the report…

“We loved the exploding vacuum cleaner…”

“… we loved the breakfast setting...”

“We loved the Dwarfs’ outfits which were very colourful and fun.”

“…we loved the ink-pot on Scribbles hat…”

“We loved the breakfast scene which was very natural…”

“This was a lovely traditional Snow White who was very believable and we loved her rapport with the Dwarfs.”

“We loved her outrageous outfits and wig.”

“Good singing voice and we loved the mirror duet with Snow White.”

“We loved this performance which never missed a beat.”

“...we loved his eccentric costume which suited the part perfectly.”

“We loved each and every one (the dwarfs) and must congratulate them for keeping in character throughout.”

In addition, two aspects were “loveable", and five were “lovely”!

Who says love is blind?

To be fair, there was one bit that the duo didn’t exactly have a crush on…

“There was a great rapport between Snow White and the Dwarfs which was charming. We loved the breakfast scene which was very natural and worked extremely well. It was a pity that Snow White didn’t die in front of the table as it was rather difficult to see the sadness of the dwarfs and we also lost a few lines because they were set so far back.”

Yeah! A pity Snow was screened when she snuffed it!

Reminds me of that song… “ Nobody Does It Like me“… If there’s a wrong way to do it!

Although of course, in his excellent book, ‘The Art Of Coarse Acting’, (If you haven’t read it, shame on you!) Michael Green does advise the aspiring body to “die behind something and then have a good sleep”, as there is “always the danger of heavy breathing, or even a sneeze, apart from the strain of having to lie still.”

CLASS ACT #9

Here’s a connection with “Nobody Does It Like Me”, mentioned above. It was written by Cy Coleman and Dorothy Fields.  In 1964, Coleman met lyricist Dorothy Fields at a party, and when he asked if she would like to collaborate with him, she is reported to have answered, "Thank God somebody asked." Their first project was the musical, ‘Sweet Charity’, which premiered on Broadway in 1966, choregraphed by Bob Fosse, and starring his wife, Gwen Verdon. The show was adapted for the screen in 1969, with Shirley MacLaine as Charity.

I first saw Shirley MacLaine around 1956, in her second film, the Paramount Studios production, ‘Artists And Models', which starred Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. I was immediately taken with her pixie-like quality.

In the film, Rick Todd (Dean Martin) is a struggling artist who shares an apartment with his best friend, Eugene Fullstack (Jerry Lewis), a would-be writer of children's books. Eugene is obsessed with pulp fiction comic books, particularly ‘The Bat Lady’, and has nightmares because of that. However, Rick soon finds that those nightmares could be excellent material for his own comic books.

A successful artist moves into the building. She is comic book illustrator, Abigail Parker (Dorothy Malone) and her roommate is artist’s model, Bessie Sparrowbush (Shirley MacLaine), who poses as Bat Lady.

That’s all you need to know really. If you haven’t got the hang of it you’ll have to see the whole film.

This short clip gives you four class acts, Jerry Lewis, Dean Martin, Shirley MacLaine, and the delicious Dorothy Malone.

Dean Martin died in 1995, Jerry Lewis is still around at the age of 85, despite having had just about every illness known to man. Shirley MacLaine is aged 77 and still making films. Dorothy Malone is in her 86^th year, retired and living in Dallas.

Jerry Lewis is another great physical comedian... in my humble opinion, of course!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY… OR ANY OTHER DAY

This morning, I took my grandson along to the open day at the professional football club we support. That’s Association Football, not any other kind!

We were allowed to wander around behind the scenes. On the walls of the corridors near the changing rooms, there was a selection of large pictures recording action from some of the games, overprinted with what might be described as inspirational quotes.

One of the quotes was I considered, not only relevant to sport, but also to activities of a thespian nature.

Unfortunately, I didn’t write it down, but it was something along the lines of… “Success is not being better than someone else, it's being better than you were yesterday.”

Take heed those of you for whom acting is an ego trip. This is why we rehearse.

Here endeth the lesson!                                    

AND THERE’S MORE...

Following hard on the heels… or maybe that should be the Cuban heels… of ‘Yankee Doodle’ – A Wild West Panto’, G. Wizz’s latest full-length pantomime... I can now announce that there’s a pint-sized panto on offer.

My grandson’s school asked if I could write them a version of ‘Dick Whittington’ that would last around an hour, and I duly obliged.

Initially, my plan was to condense the full-length script I have written, but when I though seriously about it, I realised that I might end up with a dog’s breakfast… something that was neither fish, fowl, or good red herring! Also, I didn’t like the idea of using the same material in different scripts. So… I started from scratch.

Though I says it that shouldn’t, whichever way your funny bone works, I reckon I have assembled a notable collection of smiles, grins and chuckles for your enjoyment… but then what do I know?

The resulting short and sweet script would obviously be suitable for school use. The staging, costumes, songs and dances are all quite easy to achieve, and there are lots of opportunities for a good number of people to get involved.

Adults might like to try it as well, since it’s guaranteed to be almost as much fun as a three- legged skating race, and should appeal to people of all ages… from five to quarter past six.

CLASS ACT #8

The duo is Red and Struggie, strutting their stuff in the Vitaphone short, ‘Don Redman & His Orchestra’, made in 1934.

They were a 1930s nightclub act and, this short subject, a brief appearance in the 1936 Vitaphone reel ‘Red Nichols & His World Famous Five Pennies’, for the ‘Troublesome Trumpet’ number, and a few fleeting steps at the end of the Cab Calloway sequence for ‘Just Wanna Make Rhythm’ in the Biograph Studios’ ‘Manhattan Merry-Go-Round ‘(1937), are currently the only chances to see these guys.

Someone on t’Intenet claims, “… the short man is my great uncle walter scruggs…” I presume he means Walter Scruggs.  

Someone else states that their claim to fame in the history of dance comes from their origination in 1935 of the popular dance, ‘The Truck’.

I couldn't find any reference to 'The Truck', but on the streetswing.com website, they state, Some historians have traced the ‘Truckin' Dance’ way back to the old Minstrel Shows of the 1830's in Louisville, Kentucky.

The 'Joe Louis Truck' was reported to be a new dance in the 1930's, when the ‘Amsterdam News’ reportedly said that Don Redman's Orchestra created a new dance called the ‘Joe Louis Truck’. However Don Redman says when he first saw the newspaper clipping he knew nothing about the song or the dance, so he wrote one, which he says was “before the "Truckin' dance became popular." He also says "nothing became of the song."

Apart from these brief mentions, the rest is silence!

Aren’t they loose? I love the outfits, the great band, and the scat singing... but then I was spoon-fed jazz from an early age.

“Nagasaki” dates from 1928, and was the work of Tin Pan Alley stalwarts Harry Warren and Mort Dixon. The song was covered by the Benny Goodman Quartet, Fats Waller, Fletcher Henderson, Cab Calloway, Django Reinhardt, Stéphane Grappelli, Chet Atkins, and many others.

One of the verses includes the following:

“They sit you upon the floor
No wonder your pants get sore
Back in Nagasaki
Where the fellers chew tobaccy
And the women wicky-wacky
Woo.”

Yowsah! Yowsah! Yowsah!

PROPER PROPS

A theatrical property, commonly referred to as a prop, is an object used on stage by actors. Smaller props are referred to as "hand props". Larger props may also be set decoration, such as a chair or table. The difference between a set decoration and a prop is use. If the item is not touched by a performer for any reason it is simply a set decoration. If it is touched by the actor in accordance with script requirements, or as deemed by the director, it is a prop.

In pantomime hand props should, wherever possible, be big, bold, bright, colourful, and very visual. But then of course, you all know that, don’t you? Apparently not!

In my version of ‘Robinson Crusoe’ there is a scene where the Dame, her son, Billy, and Mayor Perkins, are trying to build a boat to escape from the desert island on which they have been shipwrecked.

It involves them putting ‘glue’ on a ‘plank’, and includes comedy business with the plank being swung around etc, and the ‘glue’, which I recommend is ‘custard pie’ foam, either hand-mixed or from a spray can, being slapped on people with a brush. Water could be funny, but it is not as visual as foam, unless a large quantity is sloshed around, which then presents the problem of having to clean up quite a mess.

I went along to see the initial production and lo and behold, the supposedly experienced company didn’t know that in pantomime, hand props should, wherever possible be big, bold, bright, colourful, and very visual.

The ‘plank’ was obviously a spare bit of wood from someone’s workshop, about 4 ins. (10 cms.) wide by some 5 ft. (150 cms.) long. The bucket containing the ‘glue’ was what you might call pint size. Some kind person had obviously given them an empty, 1kg. plastic tub, that at one time probably contained DIY adhesive. The brush was 3ins (7.5 cms.). wide.

The plank should have been at least 10 feet (300 cms.) long, and 9 inches (23 cms.) wide. It could have be made from a thin frame covered in painted hardboard or paper, so that it was easy to carry and manoeuvrable, but didn’t deliver too much of a punch when it hit people.

I’ll never understand metric, if I live to be a gross!

The bucket should be a full-size one, with the words ‘STICKY STUFF’ painted on it in large letters. The brush should be a large paste brush.

It goes without saying… so why do people need to be told?

peacheykeene.com have some fun clown props.

CLASS ACT # 7

Are these guys funny, or are they funny?

You can bet your sweet tooth that they have rehearsed this routine.

BEST OF THE WEST!

After burning the midnight oil at both ends for the past few weeks, I have finally finished a new script…

(CUE FANFARE)

… ‘Yankee Doodle – A Wild West Panto’.

Yup, yup… reckon Ah have!

Set in and around the town of Knees Bend, it features so-so songstress Lola La Goon, who winds up way out West when she is suddenly stranded deep in the heart of Texas.

However, she has a treasure map showing the location of the Lost Marbles Goldmine, and that could land her in the lap of luxury. You can bet a bucket of bullfrogs that the no good, ornery skunk Snide Winder, will be on hand to hinder, when schoolmarm Miss Mercy Mee, singing cowboy, Sol Farr, and unsung hero, Donny Doodle, help Lola go for gold.

It’s a rootin’-tootin’, shootin’, high-falutin’, scootin’, hootin’… well… that gives you a rough idea!

Full details of the cast and how to obtain a reading copy are available on my website…

http://www.gwizzpromotions.co.uk/

Yi-hah!

THE WHOLE DAME THING

In the ‘Production Notes’ I include with my pantomime scripts, I offer a brief description of the characters. For every Dame, this is exactly the same… ‘The traditional Dame, best played by a man, who should not attempt to play the part of a real woman. Dames are not 'drag' parts. She carries the large part of the comedy. A sprightly, forceful character, who drives the whole show. Physicality is all-important. Body language and facial expressions should be big and bold. Requires the ability to put over a song.’

That’s it in a nutshell, whether it be Widow Twankee, Sarah The Cook, or Mother Goose. The rest is in the script for the actor to discover for himself… providing he is prepared to do that.

Here’s a quote from ‘Plays And Players’ December 1977, about the approach to playing Dame adopted by Stanley Baxter, who was a great favourite on the Scottish pantomime circuit, until his retirement in 1991. “In the evolution of a performance… (he) doesn’t think about where he’ll get laughs until a very late stage. The early work is concentrated on those dramatic high points that he regards as keys to his character’s development.”  The man is obviously a professional.

I don’t like Dames who are trying to be a solo act. They must be a character in the show, and not a show-off. The actor should never forget that he is playing a role, and as such is only one piece in the jigsaw.

Chris Harris, quoted on the BBC website, "When I come to do the panto dame I think what I try to do is try and bring an actor to work rather than a drag act."

There appears to be a trend these days towards Dames being far removed from reality. Costumes are of a kind that only a pantomime Dame would wear, and make up is becoming bizarre. There is a ‘tutorial’ on YouTube where the end product looks just like someone with their face painted.

Arthur Askey, who played Dame at the London Palladium in the 1960s made up with “ordinary pancake slap”, as he would have done for any appearance on stage. He wore a basic wig, and a basic costume, but the guy was funny, despite, or maybe because of, the lack of artificial aids.

Les Dawson, who was inspired by another Palladium Dame, the great Norman Evans, simply painted his nose red and wore a pair of wire-rimmed spectacles. Chris Harris also uses a fairly basic make up.

For me, the greatest ‘Dame’ of them all was Arthur Lucan, alias Old Mother Riley, who played the Palladium and the Royal Command Performance, as the Irish washerwoman character, without exotic make up, crazy costumes, or false boobs. I did say I liked physical comedians and comediennes, didn’t I?

Chris Harris again… "Arthur Lucan played this woman called Old Mother Riley who had a daughter Kitty, he's the nearest to what I always thought panto dames should be, a totally believable character, always wringing his arms, she was always busy and ran a laundry like Widow Twankey does.”

A guy I knew played Dame in local pantomimes, and for him, the costumes were the most important part of his performance. He would write in his script, ‘Costume Number 1’, up to ‘Costume Number 8’, or even higher, at the points where he made an entrance in a different ‘dress’.

Anyone can wear outrageous costumes, but not everyone can be funny on stage, regardless of what they are wearing. Funny is more important than frippery. All right, let’s say you make an entrance in an outrageous costume, that has taken someone quite a long time to make, and has cost a pretty penny. When the audience first clocks it, they laugh… once! Is all that effort really worth one whoop?

A bit of comedy business or a comedy prop on the entrance might have exactly the same result. Try thinking, “How could I get a laugh without going to all the trouble of having a special costume made?”

Funny costumes are acceptable, providing they have some relevance to the character, the plot, and they are an exaggeration of something that might possibly be worn. It does puzzle me, why anyone would want to come on stage dressed as a snooker table, or a Christmas tree, complete with lights.

I once went to see another friend in a professional pantomime, and the Dame was played by a young man around 30 years of age. Every entrance apparently necessitated a change of costume, and wig! The costumes were almost haute couture, and the wigs were certainly haute coiffure. He was in fact a drag act, and he simply stood in one spot and delivered his lines. He didn’t do physical comedy! Ergo, he wasn’t a pantomime dame.

From the Scottish Music Hall Society site… “When I complimented the late Rikki Fulton (Francie and Josie/ Rev. I. M. Jolly) on his excellent female nurse and nanny characters, he pointed out that the secret of making this sort of role funny was to ensure that it was always larger than life. Said Rikki,”I always tried to create a particularly masculine type of Dame. The children knew it was a man in skirts and laughed even louder because of it! Had I tried to exactly replicate a vampy woman in the Danny La Rue style, it wouldn’t have worked in Panto” Some people suggest that the most famous Dame in pantomime history was likely Arthur Lucan who made a lifetime career out of portraying the dirty, bedraggled, Irish washer woman known to millions of 1950’s movie fans as Old Mother Riley. Nobody could possibly mistake the 'typical Irish' washer wifie for a 'real' lady. It was as if Arthur Lucan took the Widow Twankee in Christmas Panto and turned it into a lifelong year round career!”

Last word to the late John Inman… “The dame is much more than just a drag act. It's a walk and a wig and a frock and an attitude; you have to get your head round those, and the character unfolds.”

SOMETHING APPALLING…

Award-winning composer-lyricist, Stephen Sondheim, recently criticised a re-worked stage version of "Porgy and Bess," the opera by George and Ira Gershwin and DuBose Heyward, which is heading for Broadway this winter.

His complaint has echoes of my blog about messing with the classics.

Changing this, rewriting that, distorting t’other!

He sums up the saga by saying, "If (the Director) doesn’t understand Bess and feels she has to 'excavate' the show, she clearly thinks it's a ruin, so why is she doing it?"

Mr. Sondheim's resume includes ‘A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum’, ‘Follies’, ‘A Little Night Music’, "Sweeney Todd’, ‘Sunday in the Park with George’, "Into the Woods’, ‘West Side Story’, and ‘Gypsy’.

Even though one might be near the bottom of the pile, it’s encouraging to be on the same wavelength as someone with his pedigree.

KNOCKABOUT TURN

Today, I came across the following in an article entitled “How To Make Children Laugh”, written in 1955, by Paul Terry, American cartoonist, screenwriter, film producer, director, and founder of Terrytoons (‘Mighty Mouse, ‘Heckle and Jeckle’ etc.)

American spelling applies.

In “creating” humorous situations of course, we are inventing nothing. We are restating some of the tried-and-tested gags and situations, weaving them into new story lines.

Basically, humor never changes, nor do tastes in humor. The same situations which made children and adults laugh 2000 years ago cause them to laugh today, when done up in modern dress.

Check through your memory and you will discover that by far successful comedians have been “sight” comedians, as compared to comedians who appeal to the mind. That is why the popularity of animated cartoons will live on and on: the humor in them is visual and therefore, universal.

Didn’t I say I like physical comedians… and comediennes?

In playing pantomime, one must be very aware of the physicality… facial expressions, how one stands, moves, reacts, etc. This not only helps to create a character, it helps to make the character funny. In essence, play it big, play it out front… and only perambulate purposely.

SO FOLLOW ME, FOLLOW...

I notice from some banners on the side of buses that a new Smurfs film has just hit the cinema screens.

Did you know that ‘The Smurfs’ in French is, ‘Les Schtroumpfs’? You learn something new every day… if you’re not careful!

A couple of years or so ago, I wrote a script for ‘Goldilocks And The Three Bears', which I set in Russia. The three bears are kidnapped by the villain, Sergei Sardine, and the goodies set off to try and rescue them. The second act opens on the fringe of the far-flung forest, where we meet a bunch of Russian serfs, who sing ‘Dippety Day’… the Smurfs song. Serfs… Smurfs… gerritt?

This follows on my writing ‘Red Riding Hood’, where Holly Hood goes to visit her granny in the village of Dillydally, and she is warned about a werewolf in the woods. Earlier this year, Warner Brothers released a motion picture set in a medieval village that is haunted by a werewolf.

I am not suggesting any kind of plagiarism you understand. I didn’t know about their version, and I’m sure they didn’t know about my version, but I did beat them to the punch, by quite a margin.

And there’s more…

When I wrote ‘Hickory Dickory Dock’, I decided that the story would major on the theme of time… the mouse ran up the clock, remember? I decided to introduce a time traveller, Dr. Watt… to avoid infringing copyright, you see. He (or she) travels in a jukebox, rather than a police box and… well, I did wonder if the kiddiwinks would ever have heard of Doctor Who. Lo and behold, just after I added the script to my catalogue, the BBC revived the show. Thanks, Auntie!

I included the Lone Ranger and Tonto in my version of ‘Goldilocks And The Three Bears’ – to find out how and why, you will have to read the script.

An amateur drama group who decided they wanted to do the script, were concerned that some of the younger generation may not have heard of this famous Western hero, and would be asking the question, “Who was that masked man?” So, I added a little bit of explanation.

Shortly after, I discovered that a new big-screen adaptation of the story had been announced, and so once againg, G. Wizz would be bang up-to-date.

However, “after years of being stuck in development hell”, the project has apparently been put on hold, over problems with reducing the movie's estimated $250m (£154m) cost.

That’s a lot of lolly for a Western. I can only presume that they must be using real silver bullets!

Where G. Wizz leads, others follow!

CLASS ACT #6                                              

Never heard of Wally Boag?

Well, he was born in Portland, Oregon, in 1920, and honoured in 1995 as a "Disney Legend" for his long tenure performing in Disneyland’s ‘The Golden Horseshoe Revue’.

He appeared in the first performance on Sunday, July 17, 1955, which was featured live on ABC-TV, and watched by over 90 million television viewers.

Alongside the can-can dancers, he was the comic star of the daily shows. By the time he retired, in 1982, from his roles as the outrageous Pecos Bill, and the Travelling Salesman, Wally had performed in nearly 40,000 productions of the popular Revue!

Wally Boag appeared in such Disney films as ‘The Absent Minded Professor’, ‘Son Of Flubber’, and ‘The Love Bug’, and was the guest star in episode 520 of the ‘Muppet Show’.

While appearing at the London Hippodrome in 1947, he brought the 12-year-old Julie Andrews on stage to help with his balloon act, and she astonished the audience with her singing. It was her professional solo debut.

He died in June this year, aged 90.

At his home, hung on his wall, he had a framed letter from Walt Disney. It included the following... "I can't remember how many times I've seen the show, but I always find it stimulating to be there and watch the response of the audience... and although I practically know the routines by heart, it's always new and exciting."

In this clip, he looks to be enjoying himself... and so are the audience!

Of course, the Drabbies wouldn’t allow all that simulated violence these days. Isn’t that a good-looking set that the stuntmen smash up? It was the work of Harper Goff, who designed the saloon set for the film, "Calamity Jane", starring Doris Day.

The barman is banjo-playing, baggy-pants comedian, Gene Sheldon… another class act.

Love the dummy gag!