A FLASH

IN THE

TAN!

or… now for something completely the same... or maybe even worse! Yes... it’s a follow-up to Ming the Merciless story (see 3 January, below).

The release date for Channel 5’s upcoming historical thriller ‘Anne Boleyn’, has been announced.

The 3-part “historical psychological thriller”, will debut on Channel 5 at 9pm on Tuesday, June 1. It stars the British-born black actress, Jodie Turner Smith, as the second wife of Henry VIII, who was Queen of England from 1533 to 1536, and a black actor plays the role of her brother George. Shomething wrong here... surely!

Portraits of Anne, her parents, sister and brother, all depict people of the white or west Eurasian race, so it is hardly surprising that this politically correct casting has caused quite a few raised eyebrows… and... dropped jaws. 

“I did know [that this role] would be something that people felt very passionately about.", claimed the title role player

Well Jodie, I reckon that it is history that we feel passionate about. We have quite a lot of it… and… we like it to be correctly recounted and re-enacted… warts and all!

Wikipedia has a piece on historical negationism (also called denialism), which it describes as “falsification or distortion of the historical record.”

It goes on… “Some countries, such as Germany, have criminalized (sic) the negationist revision of certain historical events…others mandate negationist views, such as Japan, where schoolchildren are explicitly prevented from learning about Japanese war crimes.

Notable examples of negationism include Holocaust denial, Armenian Genocide denial, the Lost Cause of the Confederacy, the Myth of the clean Wehrmacht, and the denial of Soviet crimes. 

Interestingly, also according to Wikipedia, the ‘Lost Cause of the Confederacy’… or simply the ‘Lost Cause’… is an American pseudo-historical, negationist ideology that advocates the belief that the cause of the Confederate States during the American Civil War was heroic, just, and not centred on slavery. This ideology has furthered the belief that slavery was moral, because the enslaved were happy, even grateful, and it also brought economic prosperity.

Are you sitting comfortably, Jodie?

I found the information about the ‘Anne Boleyn; series on the ‘Metro’ website, where they have the by-line… “NEWS BUT NOT AS YOU KNOW IT” … rather appropriate don’tcha thirnk!

So… what’s next, Channel 5… a white Martin Luther King… a white George Floyd?

Nah! I have fathomed out a follow-up for you. It’s a gold-plated, copper-bottomed, sure-fire certainty, which I am sure you’ll be tickled pink about! Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin. Hows about… the rise and demise of Princess Diana, with a drag artist playing the leading role? Yes? I reckon one of Ru Paul’s pals would be up for it… if you know what I mean!

Of course, I would expect royalties… say… a grand for the Guinol!

              

DONE TO A TURN 

Whilst checking through my script for Cinderella (see below), I searched YouTube for any neat suggestions for Cinderella's coach, which can be a problem getting on and off small stages.

I came across a very sturdy one in a production presented in the U.S.A., which I discovered had been made by someone in the woodworking trade.

Strangely, whilst it was very well built, it was painted all in white with no decoration or trimming whatsoever. Unfortunately its somewhat drab appearance was consistant with the performances of the 'actors'. Yes, they were quite young... 'only amateurs'... but at least one of the adults involved with the production should surely have had some knowledge of stagecraft, before they encouraged them to tread the boards.

 

The coach was drawn on from the wings by four young ladies dressed in ballet costumes, and wearing headdresses. I’m not sure if they were supposed to be horses, because when they parked the conveyance centre stage, they did move their legs with a kind of static jogging action, not really co-ordinated, but they were chatting to each other. They had that look of doing what they were doing under sufferance, and wishing they were anywhere else but in front of an audience. No enthusiasm… no smiles… no pizzazz! 

A flunkey followed the coach. This was a lad in his early teens, dressed in a drab, brown footman’s costume with knee britches, white stockings, and white gloves… which appeared to be a mite too small for him. He had a regulation haircut, was sans wig, or hat, but he was sporting thick-rimmed spectacles, which I presume he wore off stage. He stood as still as a bowl of porridge, with one arm behind his back, and the other across his waist. There was no reaction at all, even when the Fairy Godmother waved her wand and pulled off Cinderella’s not very drab dress, to reveal a not very splendid ball gown, thereby causing a flutter of strategically placed silver foil. Perhaps he’d seen it before at rehearsal!

If you think I am being unkind to these young people, you’ve got the wrong end of the sticky thing. Presumably there were adults involved in this production… in fact the aforementioned Fairy had probably seen some twenty or so summers, but it appeared that even she wasn’t too sure about stagecraft. Standing stage left, she made a move to cross to stage right… when she arrived there, she did a clockwork turn to indicate the entrance of the coach (from stage right). The turn should have been anti-clockwise, thereby keeping her face towards the audience practically the whole time. It’s a simple thing… but it’s basic stagecraft.

Surely someone amongst the involved adults should know the rules and demonstrate them to young folks. If they were coaching football they would tell their charges that only the goalkeepers can handle the ball in open play…and in tennis, you can’t let the ball bounce twice before you hit it back over the net… wouldn’t they?

I did a search on the INTERNET ARCHIVE (archive.org) and found more than a dozen books on stagecraft, including, “BREAK A LEG The Kid’s Book of Acting and Stagecraft”, by James McGrew. You can sign up for free on the INTERNET ARCHIVE and ‘borrow’ these books i.e. read them via your computer. The service cost zippo, zero, zilch! So… there’s no excuse, is there?

For those of you who think that I am being unkind to amateur actors, and directors, suffice it to say that I acted with six amateur groups, and directed for four, before I trod the boards as a professional. I also read books about acting, although I must admit I didn’t manage to get to the end of ‘An Actor Prepares’ before dozing off!            

BACK IN 

THE OLD 

ROUTINE

Last weekend, I received a request for a pantomime script... 'Cinderella' it was... the first one in some time, because of lockdown restrictions, of course. 

It's good to know that at least one group is being optimistic in hoping that they can get back on the boards later this year, or maybe early next year. 

So... "Beginners please... cue overture!"

Let's hope it happens... and you panto people can provide a peppy pick-me-up for the punters!