TRADITIONAL OR TRENDY?

A few days ago it was announced that the BBC had beaten ITV in a bidding war for a new Saturday night talent show, ‘The Voice’, in a deal thought to be worth about £25m over two years. That equates to £32,876 per day, and we don’t even know if production costs are included!

The show, which made a “record-breaking debut in the Netherlands earlier this year”, airs on BBC One in 2012. Contestants will be aspiring singers drawn from public auditions.

"It's a big, exciting and warm-hearted series and will be a fantastic Saturday night event," said BBC One controller Danny Cohen. To quote Miss Mandy Rice Davis, “Well, he would, wouldn’t he!”

And now…courtesy of the amazing miracle of science… we take you back a couple of months or so, to a backroom at the BBC, where a meeting is being chaired by Mr. Big, the head honcho, the capo de tutti crapi. Seated around the table are assorted serfs…

MR. BIG: Item number one on the agenda… new programmes. Does anyone have any ideas?

There follows sixty seconds of shuffling, silence and sweating, until a pasty peon gingerly raises his hand…

PEON:  How about… a… talent show… sir?

The backscratcher bites his lower lip, holds his breath, and crosses the fingers of his other hand, which is hidden below the level of the table. The remainder of the retinue grimace and brace themselves. Slowly, a smile spreads across Mr. Big’s normally inflexible face…

MR. BIG: Well, bully for you, I say… bully! If that isn’t the kipper’s knickers, I don’t know what is! We’ll do it! It can’t fail… and even if it does, it’s not our money we’re spending, and anyhow, we’re not answerable to anyone as to how we spend it, and we don’t tell anyone how much we spend anyway… even if they try to invoke that… Freedom of Information whatchamacallit! Ha, ha, ha! Well done, young fellow me lad… I think a salary increase and promotion are definitely on the cards for you!

SLOW FADE ON THE REJOICING AND BACK SLAPPING

And what has all this got to do with pantomime?

I confess I wanted to get this grump out of my system, but for me, that indicates the trend in show business today, and it is what I consider to be a movement towards the banal, the lightweight, and the repetitive. In other words… dumbing down!

For some time now, I’ve have had the feeling that maybe some of the amateur theatrical societies putting on pantomimes, are allowing themselves to be influenced by the plastic presentations trundled out on the telly. I suspect they want to be trendy. Of course I may be wrong, but I’m not far from it!

During my 16 plus years as a full-time children’s entertainer, I made little concession to the trendy. Instead, I majored on entertainment. I reckoned the more modern technology there was, the better it was for me, presenting live entertainment with a wooden rabbit that ‘ran’ between two doors, and peeped out from behind one when I wasn’t looking… a teddy bear that popped up out of a box unexpectedly… a magic wand where a spider suddenly appeared on the end, causing me to jump back in surprise, mugging fear… and so on. This was all new to the kiddiwinks!

Even though I was using simple props, I was able to get the audience involved, generate a response from them, and interact with them. It was happening, as Big Hearted Arthur used to say, “Before your very eyes!” My job was fun! The vast majority of my bookings were the result of word of mouth. I did not have an agent, and the only ‘advertising’ I did was a free entry in Thompson’s Directory, and some A4 leaflets. Over all those years, I paid my bills, so I reckon I must have been doing something right!

In a previous blog I referred to pantomime having its roots in the Commedia dell'Arte. The Punch and Judy show also owes a debt to this form of theatre. It is where slapstick started. The gags are over 400 years old, but if you do them well, they still work. Aye, there’s the rub… if you do them well! It is possible, providing you know what you’re at, and you rehearse. Much easier of course, to make it up as you go along, bang in some references to television shows, and top it up with an attempt to copy the latest pop stars, whose singing comes courtesy of some computer software.

In the first (of only two) pantomimes in which I have appeared, I had to sing a duet with the young guy who played the (traditional) dame. Now, I sing so badly I even snap my fingers off key! The ‘dame’ informed me that he couldn’t sing either, but he said he could “put over a song”. That is what we did… both of us… and it worked. What the heck, it was comedy, not opera!

“The most difficult character in comedy is the fool, and he must be no fool who plays the part.” Miguel de Cervantes 1547-1616

So… dare to be different, and trust in the traditional! Believe me… the future is not what it used to be.

CLASS ACT #2

For me, Jack Benny was a unique comedian, certainly as far as timing goes. He was a huge star, but on both his radio and television programmes he was always prepared to let supporting characters… in this case, band members… get laughs.

He once said, “It's not so much knowing when to speak, but knowing when to pause.”

Notice how everyone contributes to the comedy. No one overdoes it, and they obviously have confidence in the material.

The reference to Phil Harris was a running gag about the social habits of Benny's on-air orchestra, going back to his radio show. Harris who in real life, was married to Hollywood star, Alice Faye, for 54 years, and lent his distinctive voice to Disney animated features, including ‘The Jungle Book’, as Baloo, singing ‘The Bare Necessities’, was scripted as a hip-talking, hard-drinking, brash Southerner, who never met a bottle he didn't like or a mirror he could bypass. The musicians were consistently portrayed as a bunch of ne'er-do-wells, often being too drunk to play properly.

The young girl is Lynette Bryant, whose show business career never really got off the ground. Talk about deadpan! She is fantastic!

CURTAIN UP

So, here goes… pinch your nose, laddie, and jump in the deep end… degree of difficulty 0.1. Did you hear the splash, folks?

It is only quite recently that I discovered what a ‘blog’ actually was to be perfectly honest… and how often do you meet someone who’s perfect and honest these days? So, make the best of me, because we are a disappearing breed!

I wasn’t sure whether Blog was the name of a character in ‘Lord Of The Rings’, an Icelandic pop singer, or a Brazil nut-encrusted chocolate bar! Then I discovered it was “a blend of the term web log”, so I thought it must be a brand of coffee!

You see, modern technology is not my tumbler of tea. I am still trying to figure out how a yo-yo works! The part of Yorkshire where I was born, bred, and still live, is serious Luddite country, and consequently, if this experiment in banging my own trumpet comes apart at the seams, I wouldn’t be at all surprised. Still, as the man said, “Let’s live tonight, and we can see a psychiatrist tomorrow!”

I worked in the entertainment business for over 30 years, as a publicist, administrator, professional actor and set designer, and children’s entertainer. 

I write pantomime scripts and sell them internationally (CUE GASPS OF ADMIRATION). Well, I don’t actually sell them. Amateur theatre groups pay me for the privilege of presenting them on stage.

G. Wizz Promotions pantomime scripts are intended to be suitable for production by both large and small amateur groups. There are sixteen titles to choose from, all with the vital ingredients to ensure a successful show – traditional storylines, lots of comedy, and a good mix of songs and action. Visit my website for the whichs, whats, whys and the wherefores… www.gwizzpromotions.co.uk

PANTOMIME

This thoroughly English art form owes its origins to the 16^th century Italian Commedia dell’ Arte. It was influenced by the early French ballet, and the Victorian melodrama, reaching the form so familiar to us these days only around the 1900s.

There are those who consider Pantomime to be inferior to other forms of theatrical presentation, but it is neither inferior nor superior, it is a unique type of theatrical entertainment, and should be treated as such.

Because it deals with fairy stories with fantastic plots, and includes audience participation, and slapstick, because it is presented for family audiences and the particular delight of children, it should not be demoted to the second rank, and be regarded as less important or less difficult to perfect than drama, comedy, tragedy or farce. It is a serious discipline, demanding dedication, skill, know-how, and lots of hard work.

A quote from an amateur drama group’s website… “We usually present three productions a year, a pantomime in January, a light-hearted play in April, and something a little more challenging in October.” Hoity-toity hogwash!

Many people who put on a pantomime are unfortunately under the impression that all you have to do is simply go on stage and be funny. The truth is that even a simple show involves a great deal of effort, particularly if you want it to look good. I have a maxim that I have applied in both the amateur and professional theatre,,,  "How ever well you do a show, it can always be done better".

Of course, audiences at amateur pantomimes do get some enjoyment out of seeing people they know, dressed up in outrageous costumes, doing silly things, but I reckon that they get much more pleasure and are much more appreciative of a well-presented production… providing of course that you start off with a good script.

I don’t write scripts to a formula, but tend to follow my nose and instincts, in the hope that I will end up with a good storyline and a balance of action, comedy, and music. My experience in the amateur theatre, the professional theatre, and as a full-time children’s entertainer, has I reckon, given me some understanding of what works on stage, particularly with regards to comedy. Although of course, I am still learning.

I do try to craft my scripts, and keep them as tight as possible. My aim is to provide societies with the ingredients to produce an entertaining show. Unfortunately, some people think that a script is simply the basis for ego trips and ad-libbing, but there you go.

As far as I am aware, five-time Oscar winner*, Billy Wilder never wrote a pantomime, but he was involved in writing the scripts for five of the American Film Institute's 100 Funniest Movies.

He co-wrote the screenplays and directed two of my top five favourite films - ‘Some Like It Hot’, and ‘Stalag 17’ (The other three are ‘Li’l Abner’, ‘Genevieve’, and ‘The Wizard Of Oz’’)

Wilder once said, “I just made pictures I would've liked to see.”, and I think that pretty much sums up my approach to writing pantomimes. I don’t write what might be described as “cute” or “winsome” pantomimes. I have nothing against that type of script; it is just that my style is different.

A journalist reviewing a production of my version of ‘Ali Baba’ described it as “… infectious anarchy…” That sums up my style very accurately, in two words. I couldn’t have done it more succinctly myself.

I am however, very much a traditionalist, and I will be expanding on that at a later date.

Suffice it to say that Billy Wilder also said, “They say Wilder is out of touch with his times. Frankly, I regard it as a compliment. Who the hell wants to be in touch with these times?”

He died in 2002 at the age of 95. Written on his tombstone are the words… “I’M A WRITER BUT THEN NOBODY’S PERFECT”

*He was also awarded an honorary Oscar.

CLASS ACT #1

From time to time, I will be posting performances by people who I consider fit into this category, to give an idea of what is possible with talent, know-how, and imagination.

Know-how, you can learn... imagination, you can improve from watching good performances... and maybe that way you can make the most of the talent you have.

In my humble opinion, Miss Patti LuPone and her backing group have got class to spare. The video shows what you can do with minimum props, minimum setting, but a large portion of pizzazz

“'Success in our business is only provisional, and it has to be worked at.” Ernie Wise