BLOWING
ONES
LINES
According to the BBC News website (9.1.2016) a certain Stacey
(Chanelle Charlene) Solomon… who I must confess, I wouldn’t know if she fell out
of a cornflake packet, on to my breakfast table… has incurred the ire of some
panto punters by reading lines from a clipboard, whilst “playing” (my quotes) the role of Fairy Bowbells on
the opening day of ‘Dick Whittington’ at Milton Keynes Theatre.
It is reported that Solomon's representative told the Daily Mail she had not had time to learn her lines or rehearse with the rest of the cast because she had been co-hosting ITV's 'I'm A Celebrity Extra Camp' inAustralia
It is reported that Solomon's representative told the Daily Mail she had not had time to learn her lines or rehearse with the rest of the cast because she had been co-hosting ITV's 'I'm A Celebrity Extra Camp' in
Pantomime producer Kevin Wood is quoted as saying, "Stacey chose to
take to the stage having just returned from the jungle as she didn't want to
disappoint her fans by not appearing in the show. The script was a
"prompt" to ensure the show ran smoothly, and she "should be
applauded for her professionalism", he added. To quote Mandy Rice Davis (allegedly) "Well, he would, wouldn't he?"
You think doing a pantomime is easy? It takes a lot of effort to come up with all the necessary excuses after a show like this is over!
Photographs of the event show that the clipboard was just a bog standard version with narrow strips of sparkly, sticky tape stuck across the top and bottom. Why not cover it with something fluffy or feathery, or… maybe just learn the lines?
Tickets for this tackiness cost on average, between £14 and £35.
If this should happen to anyone else in Pantoland, particularly if they are dealing with someone who is a legend before their time, I have written the following bit of dialogue to detract from the debacle...
BOWBELLS I have just flown in from the land of Oz,
This should be played over-the-top, and drum hits would enhance the reeling.
You think doing a pantomime is easy? It takes a lot of effort to come up with all the necessary excuses after a show like this is over!
Photographs of the event show that the clipboard was just a bog standard version with narrow strips of sparkly, sticky tape stuck across the top and bottom. Why not cover it with something fluffy or feathery, or… maybe just learn the lines?
Tickets for this tackiness cost on average, between £14 and £35.
If this should happen to anyone else in Pantoland, particularly if they are dealing with someone who is a legend before their time, I have written the following bit of dialogue to detract from the debacle...
BOWBELLS I have just flown in from the land of Oz,
No… please… darlings…save the apploz!
Don’t know if I’m on my head or my heels,
And saying that… the fairy reels…
(REELS) Oooo…
Now that I’ve landed I’m feeling quite floored,
Now that I’ve landed I’m feeling quite floored,
So here’s me lines… on this clipboard.
I'm hoping you’ll forgive me, just this once…
It’s jet lag… not ‘cos I’m a dunce!
CURTSEYS
This should be played over-the-top, and drum hits would enhance the reeling.
I well remember dear reader, that when I was in weekly rep I
played the leading role in Molière’s ‘School for Wives’. The script was 100
pages long, I was on stage for 99 of those pages, and we did it in
four-and-a-half day’s rehearsal. No clipboard, no prompter, just sheer "get out
there" guts! That really was a wing and a prayer job. Ahhh... they don't write reminiscences like that anymore.
Clip Board and the Cribs... would have been a great name for a pop group in the sixties!
Clip Board and the Cribs... would have been a great name for a pop group in the sixties!
