IN TENNIS, LOVE MEANS NOTHING!

Over the last couple of days, I have been chasing up payments for reading copies of my scripts, sent out to amateur societies. Despite my informing all of them twice, in writing, of the conditions under which I send out reading copies, a large percentage either don’t read the information, or they simply ignore it. Maybe they think it’s clever to avoid paying by being dishonest. Expletive deleted!

In the process, I came across a Local Drama Association’s review of an amateur production of ‘Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs’. The report had been written by two of the Association’s representatives who presumably, had attended the show… and here’s me thinking it was only the BBC using two people to do a job that could be done by one!

The reviewers were obviously enamoured with what they saw. Here are some (genuine) quotes, extracted from the report…

“We loved the exploding vacuum cleaner…”

“… we loved the breakfast setting...”

“We loved the Dwarfs’ outfits which were very colourful and fun.”

“…we loved the ink-pot on Scribbles hat…”

“We loved the breakfast scene which was very natural…”

“This was a lovely traditional Snow White who was very believable and we loved her rapport with the Dwarfs.”

“We loved her outrageous outfits and wig.”

“Good singing voice and we loved the mirror duet with Snow White.”

“We loved this performance which never missed a beat.”

“...we loved his eccentric costume which suited the part perfectly.”

“We loved each and every one (the dwarfs) and must congratulate them for keeping in character throughout.”

In addition, two aspects were “loveable", and five were “lovely”!

Who says love is blind?

To be fair, there was one bit that the duo didn’t exactly have a crush on…

“There was a great rapport between Snow White and the Dwarfs which was charming. We loved the breakfast scene which was very natural and worked extremely well. It was a pity that Snow White didn’t die in front of the table as it was rather difficult to see the sadness of the dwarfs and we also lost a few lines because they were set so far back.”

Yeah! A pity Snow was screened when she snuffed it!

Reminds me of that song… “ Nobody Does It Like me“… If there’s a wrong way to do it!

Although of course, in his excellent book, ‘The Art Of Coarse Acting’, (If you haven’t read it, shame on you!) Michael Green does advise the aspiring body to “die behind something and then have a good sleep”, as there is “always the danger of heavy breathing, or even a sneeze, apart from the strain of having to lie still.”

CLASS ACT #9

Here’s a connection with “Nobody Does It Like Me”, mentioned above. It was written by Cy Coleman and Dorothy Fields.  In 1964, Coleman met lyricist Dorothy Fields at a party, and when he asked if she would like to collaborate with him, she is reported to have answered, "Thank God somebody asked." Their first project was the musical, ‘Sweet Charity’, which premiered on Broadway in 1966, choregraphed by Bob Fosse, and starring his wife, Gwen Verdon. The show was adapted for the screen in 1969, with Shirley MacLaine as Charity.

I first saw Shirley MacLaine around 1956, in her second film, the Paramount Studios production, ‘Artists And Models', which starred Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. I was immediately taken with her pixie-like quality.

In the film, Rick Todd (Dean Martin) is a struggling artist who shares an apartment with his best friend, Eugene Fullstack (Jerry Lewis), a would-be writer of children's books. Eugene is obsessed with pulp fiction comic books, particularly ‘The Bat Lady’, and has nightmares because of that. However, Rick soon finds that those nightmares could be excellent material for his own comic books.

A successful artist moves into the building. She is comic book illustrator, Abigail Parker (Dorothy Malone) and her roommate is artist’s model, Bessie Sparrowbush (Shirley MacLaine), who poses as Bat Lady.

That’s all you need to know really. If you haven’t got the hang of it you’ll have to see the whole film.

This short clip gives you four class acts, Jerry Lewis, Dean Martin, Shirley MacLaine, and the delicious Dorothy Malone.

Dean Martin died in 1995, Jerry Lewis is still around at the age of 85, despite having had just about every illness known to man. Shirley MacLaine is aged 77 and still making films. Dorothy Malone is in her 86^th year, retired and living in Dallas.

Jerry Lewis is another great physical comedian... in my humble opinion, of course!