HAPPY NEW YEAR...
to all or reader!

To spice up the season, here's a novelty number entitled 'GIT UP OFF'N THAT FLOOR HANNAH!' ('A Bitter New Year's Eve'), written by Red Ingle, Joe ‘Country’ Washburne, and Foster Carling.

It is a pastiche of an American folk ballad, ‘Fair Charlotte’ (or ‘Young Charlotte’), which is based on a poem by one Seba Smith, first published in 1843 under the title ‘A Corpse Going To A Ball’, which has its origins in an incident recounted in an 1840 ‘New York Observer’ article.

Ernest Jansen "Red" Ingle (1906 - 1965) was an American violinist, saxophonist, singer, songwriter, arranger, cartoonist and caricaturist.

In his late teens, he was touring with jazz legends Bix Beiderbecke and Frankie Trumbauer.

After he failed an eye test for the Air Force, he joined 'Spike Jones & His City Slickers', where his talent for comedy came to the fore. An example appears in Paramount's 1945 film  'Bring on the Girls' (youtu.be/y02l0ZZht1U), where he spoofs the vaudeville song, 'Chloe'.

In November 1946, following a salary dispute, Ingle  branched out on his own, and the next year, he made 'Tim Tayshun', a spoof recording of the then-popular Perry Como hit, 'Temptation', with Jo Stafford (using the name 'Cinderella G. Stump'). The single went on to sell three million copies, and a new band... 'Red Ingle and the Natural Seven'... came into being. Their hits included 'Moe Zart's Turkey Trot' (based on Mozart's 'Rondo Alla Turca'), and the classic, 'Cigareetes, Whuskey, and Wild, Wild Women'.

The Mudcat Café  (http://mudcat.org) has more information on 'Get Up Off'n That Floor Hannah' It is a very useful site for information about folk songs, comic songs and parodies.

This version is by a Strine band.

HAMLET

ye Pantomime

By the pricking of my thumbs, something wacky this way comes. Yes, it’s ‘Hamlet ye Pantomime’…the show they said couldn’t be done, shouldn’t be done… and most likely won’t be done! 

Bill the Bard’s biggie has been given a good going-over by this son of York. That it should come to this! Spoofing Shakespeare? O, what men dare do!

Yes, I know I have mentioned certain texts that should be untouchable as it were… a recent film version of ‘Peter Pan’ has been panned… so is this an about turn then? No, it’s about putting the lid on it. One can but live in hope? All men, I hope, live so.

Hamlet is just your basic boy-meets-ghost, with bodkins, fardels, slings and arrows added for good measure, but this version is a silly, slapstick saga of Scandinavian skulduggery… a quirky, perky pastiche of probably the most puzzling play on the planet. It’s very much an ensemble show with something for everybody… even the audience.

Here’s more matter for a May morning… or an evening any time throughout the year… this script could be performed as part of a regular drama season, even by societies who don’t present an annual pantomime. It does you good to let your hair down once in a while… providing you can still see where you’re going of course!

See – www.gwizzpromotions.co.uk – for details. I double dare you!

Though this be madness, yet there is method in ’t... and I ain't talkin' Stanislavski!

TRY... TRY... AGAIN

It appears that Rugby Yawnion fans are up in arms about the World Cup theme music, sung by a certain Paloma Faith (Who she? Ed.).

Opinion is hinting that the songstress has drawn a blank, as it were… Una Paloma Blanca? Hotcha… hotcha… hotcha!

I gave it a listen for a few seconds, and it came across as pretentious, tuneless screaming… so what’s new in popular music?

However, Faith has shrugged off the criticism, saying: "I mean I'm quite pleased with it, so that's all that matters really.”

Well… no it doesn’t actually…  as all you amateur Thespians out there know, because you pay attention to what the class acts have to say about performing, don’t you?

We did work – and worked extremely hard at our routines – so that the final result appeared effortless, and the audience appeared merely to be eavesdropping on us having a good time.' Ernie Wise

 If you're a comic you have to be nice. The audience has to like you. Fanny Brice

I'm honest with my audiences. I never fool them… the public has learned that I will be there with every ounce of entertainment I can give. I respect my public. May Irwin

Entertainment is about people, on both sides of the footlights – performers and their audience. Al Read

A joke makes people laugh. An entertainer performs for people. The audience is supreme.

Gene Perrett

Let a fellow try to outsmart his audience and he misses. Stan Laurel

An audience is never wrong. An individual member of it may be an imbecile, but a thousand imbeciles together in the dark… that is critical genius. Billy Wilder

MODERN-MINDED 

 

From bbc.co.uk/news – 7.4.2015

Jane Horrocks, Jim Broadbent and Fearne Cotton are to provide voices for the new series of Teletubbies.

Absolutely Fabulous star Horrocks will voice the "tubby phone" - a mobile-style gadget aimed at bringing the revamped show into the modern day."

 That's it... start the dumbing down process whilst they're young!

From bbc.co.uk/news – 7.4.2015

Poldark is to return for a second series with Aidan Turner back in the lead role, the BBC has confirmed.

The period drama remake – a ratings hit for the BBC has been re-commissioned for another eight episodes.

BBC One controller Charlotte Moore said it had been "an outstanding start" to the year.

She said: "We aim to maintain that momentum and continue to move with the times and bring audiences a range of distinctive, high quality programmes that feel relevant and reflect the diversity of modern Britain." 

The series of historical novels by Winston Graham, set in the latter part of the 18^th century, and early 19^th century was originally made for TV 40 years ago, with Robin Ellis in the lead role.

No mobile phones in Poldark? No, but then it's just a good old-fashioned swashbuckling adventure, isn't it, like 'The Three Musketeers', 'Treasure Island', 'The Count of Monte Cristo', etc.?

If Dorothy has had a mobile phone she could have simply called Aunt Em and Uncle Henry and told them where she was, couldn't she? No point in yomping the yellow brick road either? All together now... follow the bouncing ball... "We're off to phone the Wizard! The wonderful Wizard of Oz!"

ON THE BALL

There is a new version of ‘Cinderella’ in the cinemas. It stars Cate Blanchett, and is directed by Kenneth Branagh for Disney Pictures.

I haven’t seen it yet, but some of the reviews include such comments as… 

“Hollywood filmmakers are no slouches these days when it comes to subverting or sending-up fairy-tale conventions. But Kenneth Branagh does something much more daring. He plays things straight.” 

“With hardly a whiff of irony, and no jokey postmodern references,” 

“…eschews the easy option of modernising it with a hip and radical make-over.”

“… a handsome slice of old-fashioned family entertainment.” 

“… in its lack of experiment, this latest Cinderella feels positively experimental.” 

Well whaddya know?

YET ANOTHER GOOD IDEA     

  

Whist browsing a bargain shop this morning I came across an item that was described as a “glitter wand”. I immediately thought that it would be an ideal item for a good witch, if you have one in your pantomime.

On t’Internet I found the examples illustrated right... described as LED Witch Brooms, featuring a plastic handle, glitter covered bristles,a string of LED lights that will make the broom light up, and ribbon trim. I reckon the handles have been shortened or the sake of the photograph.

No doubt you plugged-in pantomime people out there will be au fait with them, but they are new to me. Of course, I’ve led a sheltered life… well I did until the bus company came and tore down the shelter, and then I had to find somewhere else to live!

I haven’t got a good witch in any of my pantomimes, but now that I’ve seen this potential prop, I shall certainly find broom for one!

ICE CREAM SATURDAY

Here’s a scoop!

Whilst browsing some websites recently, I came across one for a village music and drama group in Somerset where they were promoting a "Jelly and ice cream matinée” for a performance of their pantomime. I hope they don’t mind me passing on this idea. If you give it a go, have your servers dressed in red and white horizontal striped tops, and wearing boaters... a bit like gondoliers... or something similar.

You could make quite a bit of lolly with that one. 

Hotcha, hotcha, hotcha!

A SENSE OF DIRECTION

Yesterday, I came across a video of a scene from ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’ presented by a pantomime society based in one of the London boroughs. The set, which was basic, but clean-cut, represented the top of the beanstalk, which was visible stage left. There were five pairs of female dancers wearing mob caps, white, puffed-sleeve blouses, bodices, flared skirts, and pinafores, who bravely attempted some kind of dance number. To put it mildly, there wasn’t much cohesion in the cavorting, and the director and or choreographer had contrived some quite ridiculous acrobatic movement for the humble hoofers. At one point, this involved them all lying on the floor and waving their legs in the air. Some of the weightier wenches had a little difficulty getting back to their feet.

At the end of the musical number, a good-looking witch entered down stage left, addressing the girls and the audience. Unfortunately the sound quality of the recording left a lot to be desired, and I found it difficult to hear the dialogue clearly. The girls then picked up feather dusters and cloths from behind the footlights/groundrow, and started to dust the cut-out bushes, the beanstalk, and the floor, quite vigorously.

Enter three characters down stage right. There was a two-legged cow, a chap I presumed to be the Silly Billy character, and the principal girl. The trio were ‘roped’ together with thin twine which couldn’t have been more than three sixteenths of an inch in diameter. They stayed down stage left and the witch stayed down stage right, leaving a big gap in the middle of the stage where the girls continued to dust the bushes, the beanstalk, and the floor. Two girls had a ‘sword fight’ with their feather dusters, and one crawled about the floor on her hands and knees, dusting. Yet another jumped up and down, trying to dust the top of a bush.. They paid scant regard to the dialogue being delivered out front by Silly Billy and the witch.

The tied-together trio departed from whence they came, as did the witch, leaving the girls to fill the stage. If one watched very carefully, it was just possible to see Jack climb over a bush at the back, and enter the scene, almost completely hidden by the girls, who then parted slightly to allow him to reveal himself to the audience, and move downstage.

At that point I gave up on it.

I am of the opinion that the person who ‘directed’ this would struggle to direct a nail into a piece of wood!

Where does one start with such a shambles? Everything is just about as wrong as it can be.

Well, here goes, even though most of it is stating the haemorrhaging obvious…

1              If you have a group of people who can’t dance, don’t devise a dance for them, no matter how keen they might be to ‘give it a go’.

You can include them in a musical number, providing they can make a reasonable attempt at singing, but keep their movement to a minimum. This may require you to do some thinking, and be creative, but if you are the Director, then that’s what you’re there for, isn’t it? Have a look at my posting ‘CLASS ACT #1 - 12 June 2011, where Miss Patti LuPone sings, “There Ain’t Nobody Here but Us Chickens”. Yes, she can sing… yes, she’s got a stage presence… but the choreography is so simple. Her backing boys aren’t dancers, so they simply move to the music. The feather boa prop is a great help, so try and think of something that might work for your group.

Look what I found at the first attempt with a Google search for “simple choreography moves” at… youtu.be/KHm5XXXq4t0 Isn't she a lovely lady, and doesn't she talk sense? There must be much more on YouTube. Seek and ye shall find!

2              Nobody, but nobody dusts bushes or the floor, outside! It’s absolute nonsense, and whoever dreamed it up needs a reality check. Not only that, but by having all this pointless, frantic action, the audience’s attention is diverted from the principals at the front of the stage. The swordplay is completely outrageous. The girls should be rehearsed in listening and reacting to the conversation. There is an art to that, and like the basic moves to dancing (see above), it should be choreographed and fixed.

3              The climbing rope should be thick even to excess. It looks better, and it can be a comedy prop in that it suggests the climbers are taking no chances. The rope illustrated is 1½ inch diameter cotton rope. If you can’t get that, buy some cheap clothesline wind three strands together and glue on a gauze bandage wrapping. Because the actors enter and depart tied together, step-in loops could be tied in the rope for easy application.

4              The cow costume was cute, but wouldn’t some of the younger members of the audience wonder where the back end of the beast was?

5              The trio and the witch should have been centre stage, with the subsidiary extras in two groups at the side of the stage, listening and reacting as described above. As it stands, the very important centre stage area is filled with irritating and distracting dusting. Bringing the trio and the witch closer together would also be more confrontational, with the witch being able to dominate more. She could give a wicked laugh or growl towards the trio, who step backwards in fear disrupting the onlookers behind them in another choreographed, rehearsed, and fixed move. The threesome then exit somewhat timorously, leaving the witch as the dominant character. She has centre stage for a big sweeping move and a villainous laugh as she exits.

6              There is no point in having Jack enter by climbing over a bush if no one can see him do that. He may as well simply come on from the wings in a big bold movement. If the bush is a must, then fix it so that he can climb up behind it and jump onto the stage in a dramatic way.

There are lots of books that explain the basics of stage direction, and thanks to t'Intenet, it has never been easier to find information... as indicated above. Joe and Josephine public are advised not to mess with electricity if he or she doesn't know what they are doing. The same applies to directing a theatrical production, where the end result can also be shocking.

If the director of the debacle twigs who I am referring to from the above account, and is not best pleased with this particular post... well... you can always improve, can't you?

CHARACTER KEYS

Dan Leno (1860 – 1904), born George Wild Galvin, dubbed the ‘Funniest Man on Earth’, was a star of the music halls in the 1880s, and one of the most popular pantomime dames of the 1890s.

"The King's Jester" as he became known, following a performance for Edward VII at Sandringham, pioneered a style of stand-up comedy featuring comic songs interspersed with character monologues, where he would talk directly to the audience. Leno managed to evoke a whole gallery of characters, based on minute observation, which conjured up the street life of London, where people gossiped on their doorsteps and through open windows.

To Dan Leno, a pantomime character was a real character; a character to be as carefully studied and

thought out as that of the emotionally complex nature of a heroine in a problem play.

Leno’s friend and first biographer, the pantomime librettist, J. 'Hickory' Wood (John J. Wood, 1859-1925), records in his book, ‘Dan Leno’ (Methuen & Co. 1905), that after going through his part of Sister Anne, in the pantomime ‘Bluebeard’, for the fifth time, Leno told him that he was "…afraid …very much afraid!". Wood asked Leno, if it was because he didn’t like the part, to which he replied, "Oh yes, I like the part very much. I see so much in it that I’m afraid I shall overdo it, and I don't want to do that."

This is echoed by English actor, Eddie Marsan, (‘Gangs of New York', ‘Sixty Six’, ‘Pierrepoint’, ‘Sherlock Holmes’, ‘Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows’, etc.),  who is quoted as saying, “There's no great mystery to acting. It's a very simple thing to do but you have to work hard at it. It's about asking questions and using your imagination. The trick to acting is not to show off it's to think the thoughts of the character.”

Stanley Baxter, noted for his exacting and demanding nature was, from the 1950s until his retirement in 1992, one of Britain's top pantomime dames. In an interview in the journal ‘Plays and Players’, December 1977, it is reported that “…in the evolution of a performance, he doesn’t think about where he’ll get laughs until a very late stage. The early work is concentrated on those dramatic high points that he regards as keys to his character’s development.”

Listen to ‘Stanley Baxter on Perfect Panto’ at - bbc.co.uk/programmes/p01nq670

I particularly like his opening statement about the acting side of pantomime, and the ‘Aladdin’ anecdote is priceless.

Have a look at the ‘Gracie Allen: Truth in Comedy’ on the Travalanche blog.- travsd.wordpress.com/2012/03/15/gracie-allen-truth-in-comedy/ -  where guest blogger, actor/writer, Lauren Milberger profiles one half of the brilliant Burns and Allen comedy duo.

Significant snippets include…

“Everything Gracie Allen the character said on stage, Gracie Allen the woman believed, and so in turn did the audience.”

“She didn’t think she was funny… “

“And once George ventured out on his own she reminded him of the lessons she had taught him when they first met - truthfulness. If he didn’t believe what he was saying, how could the audience?”

“George said he learned a lot from Gracie, but the most important was, “She taught me that you’ve got to make it sound like you’ve never said it before …” “

But there’s lots more.

It's quite easy to imitate a character or even an emotion, but you must give the audience more than that before you can call yourself an actor.

The aim of an actor should be to become a fully realised, three-dimensional character, with a credible history. The audience must believe the character you play is a real person and not a ludicrously inadequate or inaccurate imitation. They must believe what you say is real, and that you're not simply delivering lines, especially if you haven’t learnt or understood them properly.

“Until a character becomes a personality, it cannot be believed. Without personality, the character may do funny or interesting things, but unless people are able to identify themselves with the character, its actions will seem unreal. And without personality, a story cannot ring true to the audience.”  Walt Disney

So, to sum up... the show-offs should shove off. Hasta la bye-bye!